


Don't Let Regret Be A Noose

by SatyrSyd37



Series: In an Imperfect World [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficlet, M/M, Oneshot, Sad, Spoilers for Tokyo Ghoul anime, Tokyo Ghoul AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 17:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3904408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatyrSyd37/pseuds/SatyrSyd37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything went to shit when Kageyama became a ghoul. But he never thought it would come to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Regret Be A Noose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gill_atinousmush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gill_atinousmush/gifts).



> For G - HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY YOU FUCKING ROCK AND I LOVE YOU - here, have this plate of pain :)
> 
> SPOILERS FOR THE LAST EPISODE OF TOKYO GHOUL √A!!! 
> 
> This is literally the scene in the last episode, but with volleyball nerds instead of a sad ghoul and his best friend. My take on how tthe scene would have happened had there been a character swap.
> 
> Heavily inspired by [these](http://satyrsyd37.tumblr.com/post/118171760204/unravel-you-petition-to-take-kaneki-and-hide) [posts](http://satyrsyd37.tumblr.com/post/115246406889/mako-no-haru-i-saw-this-post-and-was-like-if) on tumblr.

* * *

_Don’t let regret be the noose_  
_That kills your second chance_  
_Look a bit beyond the loop_  
_At future’s vast expanse_

~me, myself, and I

* * *

 The first thought Kageyama has when he wakes up is _I’m still alive._

He doesn’t know how that was possible. The last thing he can remember is crawling away from the fight with Amon. Vague memories of dark red blood on bright white snow and burnt black buildings. Corpses, near-corpses, ghoul and dove alike scattered for miles, blemishing familiar streets. But more than the sights, he remembers the _pain_. Kageyama supposed he should have been use to pain after getting beaten up so often, but this time was no different. Unbearable agony had seared his body; he had been beaten down to his core. Even his bones felt bruised.

But now, the pain starts to subside. The ache is still there, but he knows that his wounds aren’t life threatening. All he wonders now is _why_. He should have died somewhere in that firefight – there were so many doves, it seemed impossible that there was a way to pass through them.

Kageyama sits up. He is…back in Anteiku. It’s dark, and he can barely make out the shape of the room. But more than seeing the interior walls of the coffees shop, it feels familiar. Any of his doubts are erased by the strong smell of coffee wafting through the air.

Biting back a groan, he sits up and pulls himself off the ground, putting a hand on the table beside him to steady himself.

“Yo, Kageyama.”

A bright flash of orange catches his eye. Hinata.

_Hinata_.

“Hinata…”

The redhead stands behind the countertop, his outline faintly visible in the shadows of the shop.

A helicopter passes by, lighting up the room in a blazing white spotlight. The sound of roaring blades pound in his ears, and in the harsh white light, Kageyama can make out Hinata’s smile. It contrasts horrifically with the circumstances surrounding it.

But the helicopter passes by quickly, Hinata’s smile disappearing with the light as the irritating noise fades into the distance.

Suddenly Kageyama realizes this is _Hinata_ – Hinata who is his best friend and biggest rival, who he hasn’t seen in months, who he’s avoided as best as possible after the accident, who _doesn’t even know he’s a ghoul._

Reflexively, Kageyama covers his eye, even though a part of him knows it’s already too late.

Hinata laughs softly, the noise puncturing the barrier of silence left in the wake of the helicopter’s roar.

“I know, Kageyama. I’ve known for a long time,” Hinata says.

Kageyama’s thoughts are in shambles as Hinata walks out from behind the counter, setting two mugs of coffee on the table in front of Kageyama. _How does he know? When did he find out? What is he doing here? How did he get here? Is that a CCG uniform? Is he okay? Why is he laughing? Is he the one who saved me? Why?_

Hinata takes a sip of coffee, promptly spitting it out. “Ick, this is gross! It must suck…since this is the only thing you can eat and all, besides, well…”

Hinata pushes one of the cups of coffee towards him, but Kageyama is frozen. He can’t seem articulate his thoughts. “How…”

Hinata laughs, “Um, remember when Mr. Nishio attacked me?” Memories from the incident that happened so long ago flash through Kageyama’s mind. So much has changed since then; it’s almost surreal to recall the event. Now, all he remembers is pain and _hunger_ and Hinata collapsed on the ground in a helpless heap. “It’s not that hard to fake unconsciousness, you know.”

Kageyama looks down. He can’t look his friend in the eye. What did that mean, that Hinata had known, all this time? He had still wanted to see Kageyama. He’s talking to him right now. Hinata continues, “Thank you, by the way. Thank you for saving me, back then. I never did get the chance to tell you…”

Kageyama doesn’t know how to react. The ache in his side reminds him of where they were – and why they were there. “I – you…Hinata you shouldn’t be here!” Kageyama finds himself saying. “It’s not safe and – ”

“Hah! Says the guy I pulled out of danger,” Hinata remarks sarcastically. He coughs violently and places a hand on the table to steady himself.

“…dumbass,” Kageyama mutters under his breath. He doesn’t know what to say. What do you say to a guy who walked into an all-out battle to save you?

“You’re the dumbass,” Hinata retorts with a smirk. His face abruptly turns pensive. “You…you found a family here, I think, at Anteiku. Even though you left me behind, I was happy for you. You were never really good at making friends…”

_You would know._ Hinata is still one of the few people Kageyama would call his friend. He was also, probably, the first.

Hinata clenches his hands into first, and scrunches his eyebrows together. “I knew that you had new friends to protect you, but…but I couldn’t just leave you!” Hinata sounds frustrated, and Kageyama can’t understand why. _Why does he care so much about me?_

_You know why._ It’s just always been hard for Kageyama to admit.

Kageyama averts his gaze as Hinata continues. “You take too much on your own shoulders. You always try and do everything yourself…it’s okay to, you know, what’s the phrase – elbow the burden? Shoulder the burden? Bah, something like that.”

Kageyama can’t bring himself to say anything. It’s not like he could deny it. Hinata was right; it’d always been one of his faults.  
  
“That’s why I joined the CCG. I didn’t know what else to do to help you, so I thought I could be, like, a spy! Like a double agent in the movies, spying on both sides! Except…I wasn’t really on anyone’s side. Just yours,” Hinata says, gripping the edge of the table, a faint grin appearing on his face. “You know, you’re pretty famous now. They call you all sorts of things – Eyepatch, Centipede. King. Brings back memories, eh? I wish I had cool secret codenames…”

Kageyama laughs. He can’t help it. Only Hinata would be so childish at a time like this.

Suddenly Hinata’s hands start shaking. His arms collapse underneath him and his feet give out and he stumbles to the floor and keels over onto his knees. His hands smack onto the floor, but his quaking arms can barely support his weight.

Kageyama’s heart stops in his chest. “Hinata…!”

Kageyama can hear the smile in his voice despite his hanging head. “I screwed up…just a little bit back there…”  
  
Another helicopter zooms by, briefly lighting up the room. In that instant, Kageyama sees the circle of blood pooling around Hinata, like the rays of a blood red sun extending at dusk, blinding the world with red.

Kageyama drops to the floor, ignoring the pain of his own wounds, and crouches in front of Hinata. “Why didn’t you say something?” he asks as he wraps his arms around his friend, examining the bullet wound in his stomach. He feels the damp patch of red along Hinata’s torso, but in the dim light, he can’t assess the damage. He probably doesn’t need to. The red rays of blood creeping further along the ground tell him that Hinata’s lost too much blood for this wound to be anything other than fatal.

Kageyama has so many regrets. Hinata, after all this time, even though he knew what Kageyama really was, had looked after him, even though Kageyama himself didn’t realize it. Bright, shining, dumbass Hinata who thought that a ghoul like Kageyama needed a human like Hinata to look after him. It should have been Kageyama protecting _him_ – it was _his_ fault that Hinata got dragged into this mess. He should have cut ties with Hinata sooner, he should have sent him away where it was safe as soon as Kageyama became a threat to him. Then, maybe, this wouldn’t hurt so much.

Hinata’s blood seeps through Kageyama’s own tattered clothes, warm against his cold skin. He can feel the life seeping from Hinata’s like the tap water of a leaky faucet. The brightness always Hinata radiates, like sunlight on a rainy day, wanes behind a sunset of blood.

Hinata looks up at him, his eyes crinkled and his smile drawn wide.

“Let’s go home,” Hinata whispers.

Tears stream down Kageyama’s face. His arms shake, barely able to hold Hinata up. “You _are_ my home, dumbass,” he wants to say, but before the words can form in his mouth, Hinata’s body goes limp in his quivering arms.


End file.
